Kids with ADHD: 8 Ways Parents Can Help

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, is a mental health condition that typically begins to manifest in early childhood. Symptoms tend to appear in kids with ADHD between ages three and six, with the average age of diagnosis at seven years old. ADHD is associated with symptoms of inattentiveness, hyperactivity, and impulsivity, or some combination of the three. More boys are diagnosed with ADHD in America than girls (5.4% vs 3.2%), and the number of children ever given this diagnosis rose by 42% between 2003 and 2011. However, these numbers do not reflect how many children live with this condition, because ADHD can express itself differently in boys versus girls.

Many studies over the years report that girls display more “internalized” ADHD symptoms, like low self-esteem, inattentiveness, attention impairment that may interfere with academics, and anxiety. They tend to have less “externalized” symptoms than boys, like impulsivity and hyperactivity, which are often more closely associated with ADHD. Unfortunately, this has led to many girls being underdiagnosed with ADHD or misdiagnosed with another condition. Diagnosing ADHD correctly is made even more difficult by co-occurring mental health conditions in 78% of those with it.

ADHD can be a challenging condition to live with, as its symptoms of inattentiveness and hyperactivity manifest in ways that make it harder for children to achieve the same social and academic success that their peers do. This struggle has nothing to do with how smart or capable a child with ADHD is! Instead, it’s linked to the expectations in social and academic environments, which work directly against the symptoms of ADHD. For example, a child with ADHD may excitedly interrupt their friends instead of waiting their turn to speak, or struggle to sit still and pay attention for hours on end during the school day.

As a parent, you play a pivotal role in recognizing when your child is struggling and doing whatever you can to support them through it. If you think your child may have ADHD, making an appointment with their pediatrician is a great place to start. A pediatrician can refer you to get your child formally assessed for ADHD and make recommendations for starting treatment, of which there are many options.

Outside of seeking professional treatment and school accommodations, it’s important to create an environment at home that supports your child as they learn to manage their symptoms. Here are 8 evidence-based ways that you can do just that!

1. Create a routine and stick to it.

Consistent daily routines can positively impact many aspects of a child’s physical, mental, and emotional health, including their cognitive functioning, emotional and behavioral regulation, understanding and empathy, relationships, academic success, mental health outcomes, and physical health outcomes. Routines also act as protective factors for children who are living in high-risk situations for poor mental health, such as in a low-income family, with parents who are depressed, and parents who are divorced. For children with ADHD, routines have the added benefit of helping them practice skills in time management, organization, and memorization.

When it comes to crafting routines that work for you and your family, start by thinking about things that happen every day in your home in the morning, noon, and night. Keep routines simple and predictable for your child. If they are struggling to stick to their routines, it might help to use visual flip or slide charts for children and task lists with checkboxes for teens!

2. Stay organized.

Kids with ADHD can find it challenging to stay tidy and organized because of their executive dysfunction, a symptom associated with ADHD that affects the ability to make plans, solve problems, and manage emotions. When your child is being messy or forgetful, it can be easy to default to nagging or giving them constant reminders to make sure they put their toys back in the right place or get their homework done. Unfortunately, this may lead to resentment, which can potentially hurt the relationship you have with your child. Instead, try to let them experience natural consequences and introduce helpful organization skills to cope with their symptoms.

3. Limit choices and distractions for kids with ADHD.

Living with ADHD means it is easy to get overstimulated. As a parent, it can be incredibly beneficial to reduce opportunities for overstimulation in your child’s environment, especially when they’re supposed to be focusing on something, like homework or a chore. Offer only two choices instead of three or four, decrease television time, and carve out some quiet space in the home away from rowdy siblings or other distractions. Some kids with ADHD find that it’s easier for them to focus when they’re stimming, moving, or listening to music in their headphones—try different things with your child until you find what works best for them and their mind!

4. Use effective discipline.

Making use of consistent and clear discipline can be extremely helpful for your child with ADHD. Establish clear rules and expectations and consistently follow through with a system of rewards or consequences. It can help to keep these rules and expectations in a place where your child can see them so they can keep them front of mind. Rewards are particularly effective for kids with ADHD, as are thoughtful consequences.

5. Encourage healthy habits.

Helping your child develop healthy habits with their nutrition, sleep, and physical activity can make a big difference in how they manage their symptoms. Here are some ideas for promoting healthy habits in each of these categories.

Nutrition

Children with ADHD are known to struggle with food habits. They may forget to eat meals, hyperfixate on certain things until they never want to eat them again, or be extremely picky about the foods they like. It can be hard to encourage them to eat a nutritious balance of food to fuel their growing body!

You can support your child by establishing consistent meal and snack times each day, along with making sure to keep nutritious food choices in the home so they aren’t tempted to gravitate toward ultra-processed food that may aggravate their symptoms. If they have a meal they enjoy, experts recommend trying to change an aspect of it on occasion – maybe the brand, temperature, or even the plate you serve it on. Children with ADHD can be particularly sensitive to change, and doing this can help build up their tolerance.

Sleep

70% of kids with ADHD experience struggles with their sleep patterns. Whether it presents as insomnia, resistance at bedtime, or needing to listen to something to fall asleep, these challenges can affect your child’s energy levels and focus during the day. One of the biggest things you can do to help your child adopt healthy sleep habits is implementing a calming, consistent bedtime routine that gets them into bed around the same time every night. Here are some great ideas for creating effective bedtime routines!

Physical Activity

Hyperactivity is a core symptom of ADHD, but that doesn’t mean that every child with this condition has excess energy. In fact, some experience the complete opposite! No matter what end of the spectrum your child is on, getting regular exercise is crucial. Not only can it help them manage their sleep issues, but exercise can reduce ADHD symptoms and improve outcomes. Whether you get your child involved in sports, martial arts, or simply take them to the park, it’s a great way to help them manage their symptoms. It’s also worth noting that exercising outdoors in green spaces is particularly effective at improving ADHD symptoms in children.

6. Focus on their strengths.

By the age of 10, children with ADHD receive 20,000 more negative messages and critiques than their peers. Your ability to be a source of positive reinforcement and encouragement in their life can do wonders for their self-esteem. Try to notice and acknowledge the things that your child is great at and get them involved with hobbies and activities that draw on their strengths.

7. Educate yourself on ADHD & kids with ADHD.

Whether your child has just been diagnosed with ADHD or you’ve known about their condition for a while, it’s important to get curious! Learn all you can about ADHD and how its symptoms are impacting your child. It can be difficult to navigate your own feelings of frustration when your child isn’t behaving the way you wish they would, which is why developing an understanding of the “why” behind it is helpful. If you’re still struggling, it’s okay – there are plenty of support groups for parents of children with ADHD, and a list of great website and book resources below!

8. Be their biggest advocate.

Being equipped with the knowledge and resources above hopefully helps you feel more prepared to become your child’s biggest advocate for their journey with ADHD. Their symptoms may mean they struggle more with social skills and academics than their peers without ADHD, and you are in a position to seek accommodation for them at school. After you’ve spoken to your child’s pediatricians about your concerns, you’ll need to have a conversation with your child’s school.

Here’s a great guide on how to seek school accommodations, which is a complicated (and often challenging) process. However, they’re well-worth it; they can make a huge difference in making school a better environment for your child to thrive in. Depending on your child’s needs, these are some accommodations you may be able to advocate for:

• Modifications to homework, tests, deadlines
• Tools like calculators and spelling checkers
• Social skill or behavioral training
• Progress reports that track behavior improvement
• Tutoring opportunities
• Quieter testing environments
• Counseling for your child or the entire family

No matter what your child’s situation looks like, we hope this article has provided some helpful resources and insights into how you can best support your child as they navigate their ADHD symptoms. If your child’s pediatrician needs further resources or support for your child, let them know that they can call the VMAP Line to access a consultation or care navigation!